i cnt take it anymre

im totally fed up with being happy clappy random marnie 2 everyone im rele fed up its so tierin making people think that everything is ok n its rele not i cnt even tell my support worker coz i dnt wanna seem weak i cant tell my family coz they will jus fink im bein pathetic n coz ma lil sis is doin her gcse's i dont want it 2 get in the way of her life so i put my feelings on hold i cant speak 2 anyone and i feel so alone and its hard not to cry whilest writin this because my life is just not there anymore and i dont know if anyone will understand but i find it so hard to be happy anymore im just so tierd of trying hard to be happy n supprot other people wen im in so much pain its jus rele hard and i know im goin on and on and on but i jus have 2 keep typing and i know no ones going to read this but its making me feel alot better the only way i can almost escape is wen i drink and i kno i jus sound all pathetic n atettion seekin but i rele am not i jus need sumwhere 2 vent my feeling and this is the onli place where i can coz my family n close friends dont av an account on here anyway i fink im jus goin 2 i dont kno but oh well

xx