Me and Me only

hi sorry i havent been online for ages life has just been abit meh lol

1. i got tonsilitus on the thursday still went into work then the next day i hadnt slept n was really ill so i took a day off work later in the day i get a phone call sayin im sacked (i dont get sick pay so i dont take days off for fun) coz i had apparently had too many sick days which i had been off a few times but i never got paid for so it wasnt coz i wanted too haha

2. anyway so i got over that and was in sooooo much pain the next day i had too go into hospital and i thought they would just give me painkillers n anit-biotics like last time but noooo they kept me in for 4 days (i still hadnt eaten since thursay) i was upset and tierd n had shit loads of meds being put in my body. the 1st drip didnt hurt until the last full day so they swaped arms n the other arm was sooooo much more painful i couldnt move n everytiime they put something in my arm it wuld hurt soo much i would cry it was horrid and they just said ill have to put up with it! so i did and the day i finally got told i could go home coz i could eat and speak properly they then said the doc had gone somewhere n i may not be able too get home so i waited for hours till i got told i could go i packed up my stuff soooo quick!

3. now i dont know what too do at all i have barely no money and i have too sign on until i find another job which i want and need i dont like being lazy and doing nthing all the time im just bored arghhhhhh

i havent even been on here for a couple of days i didnt really have much too write si meh haha

i still dont

i had a really good time on friday me and my friends on friday night we had a right laugh they all stayed up all night but coz of my meds i had too go sleep it was well unfair haha

anyways laterz
xx

well i have been on my sisters diet for 2 weeks now and have lost 3 pounds yayayayay

im well loving it i just want to look really slim again i was a size 10 and now a size 14 im not very happy about that but hey ma sis is good at keeping me in control

but i can feel it working and then last night i was exercising like crazy i went through 2 exercise dvds it was well good i felt dead refreshed hehe

i cant wait till i get slim again

anyways gotta finish my fruit bowl and then get off to work

love to all of use reading this

i dont know why i am soooo happy today oh yeh its friday tomoz lol

which means get to go back to where i normally work on monday i hate coverig for other people in ashbourn hall where as if im covering in shevyn hall im not that bovered coz i know all the students in there and there dead nice well i dont know all of them but i know most of them

wooohoooo friday tomoz cant wait i get paid every friday so that makes it better and i dont work weekends wooohooo lol

ok im off now gotta get ma bag and leave for work now

love you all
xxx

i cant be arsed anymore are just sooooooo bored of life at the moment its just sooooo repetetive (or how ever you spell it) i cant wait til i get a better life go back to college and just have some fun im fed up with cleaning up after students all the bloody time im only 18 i dont want to becleaning for the rest of my life so im going to start making my life better well i am the only one who can do it so i will i have to start self defence anyway and then im going to start an evening class just to meet new people get a new skill and i duno maybe have fun really and have a change i love to learn new things

x

why fucking me i cant take it arghhhhhhh

i try putting on this brave face but really im breaking down inside and i cant show anyone aprt from you lot how i feel because everyone else just thinks im either faking it or just wanting attention and im really not i just cant take this anymore even my family think it well my mum started to judge me less now the docs put me on the anti-depressants and now she kind of sees but my sis still thinks im the same old person and theres nothing wrong with me i mean me and her spend all our time together but thats not the point.

im just so tierd of trying to be so happy and nice its hurting now!!

ive seen more things then most 80 year olds have! its so hard to forget all the stuff its so tiering as well i dont know anymore i really dont i cant tell how i feel anymore if its real or just the meds what the hell shall i do??

i now have to go to bloody work well i shoukdnt complain really should i its only 3 hours but it is soooooo boring i guess i just have to get through it as i have to start saving up money to go on holiday and as i only get payed £100 a week n i dont get sick pay or anything like that because im not contracted which is a pain in the arse!!!

oh well such is life and i just want to go back to college and get a really eciting job and have fun and more money i love money its like my life!!

wow i best get going arghhhhhhh i dont want to

boo!!!!!

i wish i was high on my meds now but this is the dopey stage oh well ill live want i??

i dont really have anything else to say so ill be back after work

love you all who read this

im high on those new meds well not high just really hypa n happy haha

today was my 1st day at work on the meds and i was really dopey all morning and i kept forgetting what i had to do it was quite funny if i say so haha

woooohooooo

im sooooooo glam n love being this hypa moo

oh my god ive not been like this in ages it feels so wierd n yeh

erm...... i still hate sam (ive changed the persons name by the way) but yeh hes a right dickhead n usually every friday him duane n vix would come oer and we would get really drunk n have a laugh and then we all promised that if any of use fall out we wouldnt stop each other from seeing each other but this sam tried soooooo hard last weekend to do it but it just didnt work haha shame on him the lil shit face bastard

my sis is sooooo hypa singing behind my anyways later

i cant believe it ive been thru sum shit lately n its been making me abit upset n i dont really like to go out n shit like that so i was seaking to my suport workr about it n coz i cnt sleep n that he said go to see my doc so i did n i told her n that was the 1st time i had cried in front of anyone about it so that felt wierd n then she did this test on me n then she told me "i am going to ut you on anti-deressants" im fuking 18 n i know i can get abit upset n shit n do cry at night n that but i dont want to be on them at 18 tbh but they are helping me sleep for once last night i only had one nightmare how good is that??

anyway ill keep you all posted on whats going down in marnie town!!!